The Brokering Family

10/10/10

2010-10-10T20:26:00.000-07:00

10/10/10...it's been 2 years since Warren has been gone. We miss him just as much now as we did 2 yrs ago, but we made it another year. I thank you for praying for us during the last 2 years and thank so many out there that have been a source of help and comfort. Days like this put me in a fog and I feel so much of the emotion I felt 2 yrs ago. My family have been such a help as mom and Jana came to be with me this weekend and we were able to keep busy, but he is always on our minds. We love and miss you Warren.

Catching Up

2010-08-29T12:17:00.000-07:00

My goodness how time flies. I'm sorry to those who have checked my blog and I haven't posted for months. I have had some computer issues and it was hard to post on the blog. Anyway, I'm up and running and ready to blog again. We have had a very busy summer and I can't believe we are already back in school. Oh how I miss the summer months. The stringent schedule of school is very difficult for me. The school year ended with my little man graduating from Kindergarten and that was very emotional. Then we started the summer off with 2 weddings. It was a crazy beginning. For the 4th we went to visit Warren's family and had a very nice day, then a couple weeks later we left for Minnesota for a week. We went to the Children's Museum, the zoo and Mall of America and celebrated a birthday at the American Girl Cafe. The week turned into a two week trip as we ended up going to my sister's because her basement flooded and they were in Palau. So mother and I and the kids went to Wisconsin to help with the house and then welcomed them home from Palau. We came home for 2 weeks and then back to Wisconsin for a Rodabaugh reunion. It was a wonderful time to visit with my dad's family. We had not all been to together in many years. There were 41 of us. We were all there but one cousin(and he was missed very much). It was really hot, but we still had a great day visiting and catching up. We came home and started school two days later. AHHHHHH!! Where did the summer go? The children are growing as you will see from the pics. We had some interesting issues come the summer, but were able to work on them and some we still are. I had a big birthday this summer and it seemed to really affect my little boy. I dreaded this birthday, not because of aging, but because I am getting close to the age of my husband and will soon pass him. It is difficult to think he will never grow old as I will. He will always be 41. One night I heard heavy crying and went to talk to my son who said "mommy, you turned 40, then you'll be 50 then 60 and then you'll be dead". What do you say to that? I reasurred him with lots of love and the fact that I am here now and we pray that God will give me a long and healthy life. What a burden for a little boy to have. I hate that he has those thoughts. God has been good to us as always and we are so grateful for his love for us even when we can't see the way.

Sometimes life is too fast and othertimes too slow...

2010-04-17T19:39:00.000-07:00

We are in the middle of April, the dreaded month of the year for me. I pour myself into all kinds of projects during April to busy myself crazy. It does help me some. I have been working on planting around the outside of the house. This was always Warren's area, but I was determined to make green grow!!! I do not have a green thumb, it's really more black. But I have found that I can grow ivy and hostas. Well at least that's a start. I must look really sad out there because my neighbors have been offering various things like plants, gardening tools, mulch and so forth. I guess I probably looked a little crazy putting the mulch in our little red wagon because my wheelbarrel was broken so I was offered the use of a wheelbarrel. I was fairly proud of myself as I have transplanted several plants and planted new plants. I also dug out a small garden bed along the back of the house and cut down some small dead trees along the back of the yard. I hope all my plants survive! I also have been taking a personal training class, I'm not sure what I was thinking there, but at least I feel stronger (at least that's what I tell myself when I'm on the heating pad and taking ibuprofen). We celebrated Warren's birthday last weekend by getting our balloons, writing our notes on them and taking them to the cemetery to let them go, then we always go to Texas Roadhouse (Warren's favorite restaurant). The kids actually love doing it, it's a time to remember daddy in a fun way and it not be so sad at least for them. They also love TX Roadhouse and love steak and ribs. We also started the little man in T-ball again. He has much more confidence this year and has discovered sliding. He slides for every base and every ball. Needless to say he is filthy. We have so enjoyed the beautiful weather God has given us this spring and I love that the two youngest go out to "adventuring". They pack their little backpacks and walk through the yard looking for sticks, birds and various nature things. It's really cute. My oldest on the other hand is my garden helper (I think she has her daddy's green thumb). I was given the opportunity to go hear Lisa Welchel speak. What a wonderful blessing! It was a wonderful night of encouragement. God always sends me what I need at the right time. I don't understand the ways of God and why He has allowed me to be in this position in life, but He continues to show me He is with me and watching over us, even when I can't feel Him. It's just that sometimes it would really by nice if God has skin on...Happy Birthday to my Warren, I love you!!

Valentine's Day....

2010-02-14T19:00:00.000-08:00

I just returned from a weekend with my sister Jana. We had a wonderful time as she always makes me laugh and for a brief time forget what this weekend represented - special time with my husband. As I have said before Warren made Valentine's Day a very special time and so I try to just get through the day, but the children don't understand and so for them the festivities go on.... Jana had them make cards for me and they expressed their wonderful love for Mommy. What a treasure! I was blessed as I read the cards. Chloe always finds a unique way of saying something special like when she said "I don't need you skinny, mommy, I love you just the way you are." Those are always the special words from my precious girl. Today was no different and she wrote: "I like to have a mom just like you". I love her precious ways and innocent love. Spencer colored me a beautiful picture of the sky with 3 figures in the clouds: God, Daddy and Jesus, oh, with a caterpillar and spider at the bottom. Maddie, over and over, expressed her love for me with words and hearts. This is the precious love of Valentine's Day. In my sadness for what I am missing, God said, "but, look what you have" These are now the treasured cards I keep hidden to my heart. I hope you had a wonderful day, and treasured the precious valentine's you have whether adult and/or children. Happy Valentine's Day Warren, I love and miss you!

2009-12-13T17:46:00.000-08:00

Wow! A whole year has passed and then some. For the most part Warren seems only gone a few weeks or maybe months. I am finding that the 2nd year in many ways is more difficult than the first. I think the first year is so much shock and trying to cope through each "first" or just life in general. Now as the 2nd year begins, reality sets in. The reality that he's not on a long trip, but that this is for the rest of my earthly life. It's a sobering thought to face everyday. I went by the cemetery today to place a Christmas star at his grave. I like to go there although I had 2 of the kids with me and couldn't stay long. It's nice to go, but as I've said before I hate to leave, especially when it's cold and rainy. I know he's not there, but it's hard to disconnect from our human minds sometimes. I miss him so very much. The kids are doing well. We have had a few "I miss my daddy" moments, but we have cried and hugged and gone on. I cleaned out a drawer next to our bed and found priceless treasures. Warren had such a desire to be a good father and the drawer had many books about family and fatherhood. I also found another card I had given him. He saved almost every card I gave him. There were many sermon outlines he had started on pieces of paper, some finished and some not. He had a card he had bought for Maddie's 2nd Christmas and had written in it. He never finished it, but had said many wonderful things to her and so mom thought it would be helpful to her if I gave it to her now. She loved it and cried, but she keeps it under her pillow and I find her reading it all the time. What a treasure she has and special words just to her from her daddy. I also found a poem he had written about the kids. It was a tough hour and a half, but so thankful to the Lord for the treasures he has given me.
I tell the kids when I take them to school and we pray how important it is to thank God for the many blessings he has bestowed on my family. Although we do not understand why God has allowed this difficulty in our lives, He has taken such wonderful care of us. We are blessed in so many ways. It doesn't mean I don't struggle with all of this, but I can count other blessings.
Christmas is approaching, quickly, I might add, and I love this time of year. I still find myself picking out gifts for him, when I see something, but then reality again hits me. I miss how he planned my Christmas presents. He was so specific about what he would buy. I even miss the Christmas china he bought me every year. I miss the dark chocolate with raspberry filling candy he would put in my stocking. He would buy some kind of jewelry and put it in the very bottom of the stocking. There was always a certain way he did Christmas. He rarely bought what I asked for because he said I was too practical and He wanted to buy me something nice. I must say he spoiled me every year.
We had our Christmas cantata at church last week and Maddie had her debut of acting. She was my daughter. I couldn't have been prouder!! I believe God opened a window of Heaven and allowed Warren to see her perform. My heart was so full as she said her lines. Then tonight we had the children's program. It was so fun. You just never know what they will do. Maddie and Chloe each had speaking parts and did a great job. Maddie played 2 piano specials as well, but bless her heart, she has been terribly sick with a cold. She is just miserable. Spencer was a shepherd, but got a little bored in the barn and began hitting "Joseph" over the head with his staff (Joseph was plastic, thank goodness). It is so dangerous when that boy gets bored! He had a few parts with the smaller children before the play and everytime he had a special part and before they left he would walk up to microphone and say "thank you very much". Hmmmm, sounds like someone else I knew. Anyway, I have rattled on long enough. I hope you all have a wonderful MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!

As fall approaches.......

2009-09-27T20:19:00.000-07:00

I feel compelled to write tonight as so many things are going through my mind. The one year anniversary is quickly approaching. I haven't said anything to the kids, as I didn't think they would be aware of the time. I am amazed by my children though. I don't even know if they realize what is coming, but they know the season. Part of the problem, I believe, is that fall was Warren's favorite time of year. How he loved all the fun and warmth of the autumn season. It is something we all look so forward too and yet something is missing and they know it. They are having trouble sleeping and have begun to ask questions and make comments about "fall is daddy's favorite season, isn't it", or "daddy and I had fun when the leaves fell". Tonight, I found my little man with all his blankets on the floor after I put him to bed. I said "buddy, what are you doing?" He replied "when I miss my daddy, I like to sleep like this". Many times I do not understand what is going on in those little heads, but I just snuggled him. Football has also started and tonight I walked downstairs to get something to drink and the TV was on the Colts game. It was a difficult, almost breathtaking moment as I caught myself looking in the chair (hoping to see him). I keep the games on as though I have too. It's so strange, the things we hold on too......

2009-08-28T19:26:00.000-07:00

I once again am blessed with wonderful friends. My friend Kelly came to the house the other day and with her brought 3 blankets. One for each of my kids. Here are pictures of each blanket. Thank you Kelly, the kids sleep with them every night. They are a wonderful comfort!

School Begins!!

2009-08-24T19:11:00.000-07:00

We have started the school season!! It is a bittersweet time. I enjoy having some down time, but I do miss the kids. They are all in school this year and a new school as well. They are all doing pretty well, although there has been many changes, and if anyone knows my children, changes do not come easy!! :) I struggle with the morning schedule, but we will get used to it! We have been incredibly busy and full of homework and piano. When school is out we are crazy until bedtime. Please keep my little man in your prayers, he is struggling with a few things. It has been hard for him to understand any of this. He is becoming more and more like his daddy with each new day. The girls are adjusting fairly well although we have had a few setbacks in last few weeks. We cherish your prayers and thoughts.

Blessings!

2009-07-13T20:22:00.000-07:00

With the many changes in our lives, one of my hardest during the last several months is the difficulty in getting to sleep at night. As I have said before night time is a time I struggle dealing with. But, the last few nights, I start out with questioning the Lord on His decision and He has reminded me of the list of family members and friends that He has so wonderfully given me during this time. I have been amazed at what God has blessed me with. Life as I knew it has totally changed and I don't always go with it easily, but God has given His grace through many forms. It doesn't mean I understand why or that it's any easier to accept necessarily, but He does give me the strength to cope. It never fails that when I am having one of those many days He sends people to me. It may a phone call, a card, a Facebook note, a visit, an e-mail, etc. For those of you family and friends that read this, please know how thankful I am for your consistent encouragement. I may not respond outwardly, but know that my heart it so grateful for your love and support. I know that there are many times that I made it through the day because you responded to that little voice from God letting you know I needed a boost. I just wanted you all to know I am very appreciative of your "care" for me.
The summer has gone by too quickly. It won't be long before school starts back up. We have been so busy, I painted a small bathroom and gave my oldest her own room. I painted her room and put up border. It was a crazy week, but I felt like I had accomplished so much. We celebrated a birthday for my 7yr old on the first. We went to a tea place with some friends and had a little tea party. What a wonderful thing for little girls. They had boa's and hats for the little girls to wear and they had fun. I did have to draw the line when the owner was showing my little "warrior" boy how to wear a boa. Everyone had their own teapot with tea and tea cups. I kept thinking how Warren would have loved to see the girls being little ladies. They had sugar to put in their tea cups, but that became such a fun activity that the sugar was just "sludge" in the bottom of the cups. :) But oh, what fun we had! We had a wonderful 4th with Warren's family. It was good to see all the family and watch the cousins play together. We didn't have fireworks that night because we had so much rain, but Sunday night our city did a wonderful display. I had not intended to go because I was tired and just plain didn't want to mess with it. When the kids found out there were fireworks (thanks to the neighbor kids) they of course wanted to go. I immediately said "no" we aren't going. The kids and I all got ready for bed, but the guilt started setting in :) I kept hearing the little voice that said "why not?". So we jumped in the car PJ's and all and went to see the fireworks. It was great and the kids loved it (and so did I). It was one of those moments that all of the sadness left and we just had smiles. It was such a "christmas" moment when all is forgotten. Again, God is good, He gives us what we need when we need it. I am so thankful for those moments and that God has given me my babies to share these wonderful times together.

Summer is here!!!

2009-06-11T20:50:00.000-07:00

I am so glad summer is here! I was so ready to be away from the school schedule!! It seems like whenever we had a school break we were out of town. I am looking forward to taking a break and doing some never-ending organization. In the next couple of weeks we will also be doing some painting and rearranging of the kids rooms. We have been very busy since coming home from FL. It seemed like every weekend there was something happening. May brought some more days of firsts. Dear friends took the children and I out to eat for Mother's day. It was a good day and I enjoyed the eating and fellowship! It really helped to keep my mind from feeling down. I also had many friends and family txt or call to wish me a good day!! Thank you to all!
The next day we had was our oldest 9th birthday!!! We went to Chuck E Cheese, it was a great time! WOW, I can't believe she's 9, on the other hand I struggle with the fact that she is only 9 and her daddy isn't here to see it. The end of May brought Memorial Day weekend and we went to Chicago for a Kane County Cougar game. It was a lot of fun. We had almost 25 of us at the game. It was fun to see some family I hadn't seen in years!! It was fun to see the cousin's kids playing. We came home and mom came with me to do a garage sale. It was quite the event. While setting up, mom crushed her hand in between two plastic containers. It wasn't broken or fractured but was severely bruised and swollen. She is doing much better now. Thank the Lord! After the garage sale, we headed up to MN. It is always good to go home! It was good to see so many people and just hang out. We spend one day at the MN zoo!! I love the zoo!! It was wonderful to watch the kids with the animals. The girls hadn't been since they were 3 & 1 and my little man has never been. The bears were probably the best exhibit. I could have stayed to watch them all night! They seemed so carefree and loved to entertain the people. It just doesn't matter what you do we always wish Warren was with us!! I wanted to call him and tell him what the kids were saying or doing. I need to share so much with him. I believe that God shows him many things we are doing, like our oldest piano playing, but it's just the fact that it never mattered what I told him about the kids he loved it whether it was big or little and there is so much to say. The kids are growing so much and life is going on...................Anyway, I miss him so much. It has been 8 months. It is hard to believe we made it 8 months. God keeps holding us as we walk this path. Father's day is approaching. You never realize how all the advertisements and commercials are so hard for people. I can't watch any commercials on father's day. I am thankful for the wonderful father my husband was in his short time of being one. He was so proud to be a father and if you knew him you understood that he was very proud of his children and so very thankful for the opportunity to be a "dad". "Happy Father's Day Warren!! I love you!

April's Over!

2009-05-05T18:52:00.000-07:00

April has been a very difficult month. It was Warren's birthday and our anniversary. I have dreaded it knowing it would be a very emotional time. We once again went to the cemetery with our balloons and let them go and sang Happy Birthday! The kids really like to go and so do I although leaving is very difficult for me. Our anniversary was a week later. Let's just say it was a bad day all around. I think that has been the hardest day I have had since Warren died. Thankfully my aunt took the kids for several hours in the afternoon so I could have some alone time. I don't know if that day will ever be better. What was once such a wonderful day has become one of the most dreaded days of my life. It made me miss Warren so very much! I am glad to get into May as school will be out this month and we need the rest. I am glad at the many blessings God has given us! I was just telling the kids that although we don't understand why God has taken Warren it has been incredible to see how he has fulfilled his promises of caring for us time and time again. God is good!!!

On another note I have a prayer request. Long time family friends of ours are asking for special prayer. Bob was diagnosed with acute leukemia about a year ago. He has been very ill and in and out of the hospital for pretty much the entire time. Saturday his daughter is graduating from nursing school and it is his desire to attend this graduation. Please pray that Bob will be able to go, that God would give him this desire. Thank you!

Florida!!!!!

2009-04-09T15:53:00.000-07:00

Last week we took our trip to Florida. We were supposed to go the week after Warren passed away, so I had told the kids we would go in the Spring if we could. So my mom and I packed up the kids and away we went. Although we had several difficult moments of "missing daddy" we had a wonderful time. We stayed at our family trailor (it was my grandmothers) and so we spent several mornings cleaning and working on the outside. We went swimming in the afternoon and took Sunday night and spent the night at Disney and went to Disney World on Monday. We had a great time!! It was really nice to just get away and let go a little. The tough times came when we were having a good time and wished Daddy could be with us. I love to spend time with the kids like that, it is so good to see them just having a great time and laughing. We had a rainy day so we went to the Children's Museum for a few hours and it was really cold on Tuesday(so no swimming)so we went to the Jungle Gardens. It is just too short and we wished we could have stayed longer, but we are so thankful God gave us the means to take this wonderful trip. It's all about making memories for them and giving them some fun times. By the way the pic with the stuff in the hair, We had a little gum problem on the plane and i had to cut her hair with nail clippers. Oh, the things we do for our kids!! :)

Spring has finally come!

2009-03-15T12:05:00.000-07:00

I am so thankful that spring has finally sprung here in Indiana. I am sorry to those who are still in the cold (that's why I live here). The kids and I have been watching as our spring flowers are coming up in the backyard and the buds on the trees. I enjoy the winter months in December and January, but am ready for better weather come February and definitely March. I guess I have become "weak" since living here for a while :). We have had a rough few weeks as strep throat has attacked us. I hope we don't have anymore of that!! We have been doing pretty good otherwise. It is still very hard for me to really concentrate on something. My mind always wanders back to times with Warren. It's wonderful to have so many memories, but also bittersweet. On Valentine's Day I took the kids to buy a balloon for each of us and then we wrote notes on them and went to the cemetery to spend a moment "with Daddy". Then we wished him a "Happy Valentine's" and let the balloon's go. That is kind of a tradition with balloons in our family. When Maddie was a little girl she received a helium balloon at a party. That night Warren had to get up in the middle of the night and when he came around the corner the balloon moved in front of him and he thought it was an intruder and punched it :). If you knew Warren you would understand that that was the end of the helium balloons in our home. So after a while to alleviate the downpour of tears we started letting them go in the air to my grandmother who had passed away. Now we continue that with notes on the balloons. It is very good for all of us. The kids are able to express their love and sometimes emotion. I can't believe it has been 5 months! I miss Warren so very much! I still only take one day at a time. The thought of the rest of my life here on earth without Warren is absolutely overwhelming!! But, God has been good!! I have been reading small portions of several books and articles people have given me. They have been very helpful and encouraging, but I can only read small portions at a time. So much is still so very fresh and the constant reality that Warren will never be returning to us on earth is very sobering for all of us to take in. I wanted to share with you a wonderful memory my 6 year old shares with me often about her daddy. She tells me all the time when she is sitting down reading her Bible and she says "Mommy, I'm reading my Bible. Daddy always read his Bible and when he died he was in Romans. I always saw him reading and I want to be that way too." I could never ask for anything so wonderful as to know that my children remember their daddy sitting in his chair reading his Bible. I hope they say the same of their mother someday. I hope that the parents reading this take note of how our children watch what we do and someday when you leave this earth what will they remember? I am so thankful that the memories are not only of the fun and loving daddy, but that he loved God's Word. What a wonderful treasure we have!!

4 Months

2009-02-10T18:22:00.000-08:00

Wow, it's been 4 months. Time has gone by so fast. We have had a very busy month. My mom stayed with us for quite sometime (she was waiting on my dad to come and get her, and he had some work issues), anyway it certainly didn't bother me:)!! It was like having a laundry, cleaning and cooking fairy (which I have always dreamed of) not to mention she helped a great deal with the kids. We cleaned a lot and organized some things. One of the biggest things we did was put all of Warren's Emmitt Kelley's into a curio cabinet. Emmitt was Warren's greatest collection and he was so proud of it!! I was very excited, but there was a sense of sadness as we stood back and looked at the display. It is beautiful and he would have really loved it, it was such a dream he had. We had some van problems this month and had to put a considerable amount into the van. It was amazing how that day the Lord gave us over half the amount. God takes care of us in so many different ways. I sometimes wonder why God chose us to go through this and what are his plans for us in the future. I know that there is a plan and a purpose for all this, but it doesn't make it any easier and right now I just wish Warren was still with me!!! Please keep us in prayer this week as the 10th of each month is always difficult and it's also valentine's (Warren loved giving all of us surprises for Valentine's). The kids have also struggled with the week and the girls are clinging to the gifts he gave them last year. I hope you take the time this Valentine's to cherish the spouse God has given you. Take the day and spend it with each other to show your appreciation for the one God has given you. Trust me it's a wonderful treasure!!! Happy Valentine's Day to you!

Welcome to a new year!!!

2009-01-10T19:10:00.000-08:00

Well we are back home. Christmas was once again a wonderful time. We kept pretty busy so it kept us very occupied and less time to think. We did have many "Warren moments" (as I call them), times that made us laugh and times that made us cry. Christmas night and New Years Eve night were probably the most difficult moments, but my family was so gracious to just let me have my quiet moments to myself. One of the highlights of our trip is going to Nickelodeon Universe at the Mall of America. It was a difficult day for the children and I as that was one of Warren's favorite things. He loved to video the kids and ride with them and watch them laugh and have fun. Anyway, Christmas is a wonderful season and is a time to reflect on what God has done for us. We are so blessed!! Amid the trials that God allows in our life, there is so much blessing. I think for me the joy of Heaven has so much increased. What a day that will be!! Warren wrote this little poem in him journal:
"There are days of darkness and gloom, that does not always lead to despair and doom. As I open my eyes and see where I stand, I find myself in the hollow of His mighty hand. Dare I think to fail amidst this light trial? It would only be the work of Belial. Oh victory is sure when God is in control. But we must not fail to give our hearts to him as whole. Only then can we truly understand our trial and afflictions; they come as He planned. And so we some day pass or He His Son will send to deliver us to our heavenly home. And never again will we toil or roam."
-Warren Brokering
I hope everyone had a wonderful blessed Christmas season!! Please keep us in your prayers, each day is just another day to adjust without Warren. Thank you for all the notes of encouragement!! It not only is a blessing to me, but is helpful to the children as I try to read them some of the notes.
Happy New Year!!

Merry Christmas!!!

2008-12-20T17:17:00.000-08:00

I left today for Minnesota for Christmas. I was doing very well until mid Wisconsin and I ran into a great deal of snow. We had to stay in a hotel tonight because we could no longer drive. I was getting tired and knew 6 or so more hours in a snow storm with three children and going 35 mph would not be something I could mentally handle. :) We are watching The Wizard of Oz (which is Chloe's favorite movie) and we all have our electronics (it's really sad).
It is so nice to go home and be with family during this time. Christmas has been a wonderful time for me through the years, but obviously this year it has a bittersweetness to the season. I do pretty good as long as I don't think much about it. :) At this point I just want to get through Christmas day watching the kids open their gifts and enjoying being spoiled. Even though I had taken on many things when Warren became sick, there was still many things he did that I have now. He always did the video camera and I took photos because I did scrapbooking. I now have both and that is very tricky. He also took care of getting the car ready for trips and checked all those things during the trip. This is quite an adventure while traveling with three children. Anyway were going to finish The Wizard of Oz and then off to bed to begin the traveling again. Thank you to many who have prayed for us during this trip, I really appreciate your prayers please continue to keep us in your prayer were not there quite yet!!! :) Have a wonderful blessed
MERRY CHRISTMAS!!!!!

Another week......

2008-12-01T19:37:00.000-08:00

Well, Thanksgiving is over. I really had a wonderful weekend with David P. and his family. I was so thankful they came to spend the weekend with us. The time flew by which right now is a good thing. We had a good time talking about and remembering Warren and just having a good time of fellowship. I am so thankful that they gave up a holiday with their family to spend it with us during this most difficult time. We spent Thanksgiving day with Warren's family and had a very good time. It was a strange day to be there and not be with Warren. We went to the cemetery on Saturday. The stone had been placed in the ground. I like to go there, but it is very hard to leave. Sunday was a very difficult day, I assume because everything slowed down and thoughts creep in that sometimes cannot be stopped. Oh how I miss him so much. Today is December 1 and we have snow!!! I know for some of you that isn't a big deal, but in southern Indiana it is nice to have snow for the Christmas holidays. On the way to school we thanked the Lord for the beautiful snow that he gave us that gave us a wonderful smile and cheerfulness. Just a note to thank Dave and Carla for giving their vacation to me. It was so helpful to have them here during this time and the kids had such a great time. Thank you so much!!!

Happy Thanksgiving!!!

2008-11-26T18:41:00.000-08:00

HAPPY THANKSGIVING to everyone!! I am writing this on the eve of my first major holiday without Warren. I am waiting for Dave and Carla and the girls to arrive. I have looked forward to their coming. I can't believe they want to spend Thanksgiving with me, it is so comforting. We are all going to spend Thanksgiving with Warren's family as we always do. This is a bittersweet time as we will be missing a very important part of our family. We put up the Christmas decorations last weekend, that was harder than I thought it would be. It really put us down emotionally for most of the weekend. It not only affected me, but it affected the kids. We shed alot of tears and were very quiet. I did have a young friend call and invite me to do something special with her (thanks Kaitlyn). It was good to get away for a few hours and have fun. We are doing better though for now. Thank you to many that have been praying for us so strongly, it got us through a very tough weekend.
On another note, Warren's mother has sent me a poem that a friend of hers wrote. Warren's mom asked me if I would post it on the blog, she said it was a help to her and she hoped it would be a help to others.
Dear God
They went to sleep
and awoke to you
in a place with skies of blue
Free of all the pain they knew

They look around
and there they are
surrounded by loved ones
angels singing from afar
and they know

Here comes Jesus, the king of kings
arms opened wide
While the angels sing
they run to him to receive an embrace
and gaze into his face

The love they feel, it runs so deep
They know this love, it is for keeps
They love this man
and nothing can compare
to them being there.

Dear God
I know their families understand
that they can be with them again
if Jesus is in their hearts
Dear God
Then heaven will be just a start
to be with our dear God
In Jesus name, Amen
- Sue Graham -

Happy Birthday Spencer!!!

2008-11-18T18:37:00.001-08:00

Spencer will be 5 on Wednesday!! Wow, time goes so fast. We celebrated his birthday on Saturday at Bogey's (a fun pizza place). We had a good time!! It was really nice to have fun with the kids. Auntie Dana, Aunt Maxine and Cousin Lindsay and Aubrey came with us. We had a Spiderman party!! Spencer loves superhero's and Hot Wheels, I guess you can't get any better than that!! He has been so excited to turn 5!!
Everyone has left. My mother has been here since the week Warren died. She left Friday to go home and get ready for Christmas. She has cared for my children and I for weeks. What a wonderful blessing to have her. I don't know what I would have done without her. She just picked up where I just couldn't many times. Thank you Mom for all you did!!!!
Tonight is the first night we have been alone. As I said before, night time is not my favorite time of the day by any means. Night time is quiet. It does give me a chance to talk to the Lord though, in ways that I can't in front of people. I talk to Him about my anger, dissapointment, lack of understanding, lonliness for my husband, but also my faith that He does know all that has taken place and has a perfect plan. I have also realized "time". "Time" is everything. They say time heals things. I sometimes wish time would just move along quickly. I never had enough time in the day, and now I have more than I want. Having gone through these last several weeks, I cannot imagine what people do who do not know the Lord. It is hard enough having the Lord, but to experience this kind of pain and not have anyone to go to that knows what is going on and has the control is beyond my comprehension. I have rattled on long enough, but want to thank you so much for your continued prayers, cards, and phone calls. I am able to get through each day because of people's prayers for me and my family. God is Good!!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY MY LITTLE PRINCE!!

Getting back to........

2008-10-25T21:57:00.000-07:00

I wanted to write a quick note to thank you all for the wonderful posts of encouragement my family and I have received. Writing the posts is difficult for me as I was not the writer of this family. I have so appreciated the outpouring of love for my family. Words cannot express the gratitude of so many people. God has given me several wonderful prayer warriors. I have had very good days for the most part, but the night time is exceptionally difficult. I know that God is giving me the grace and taking me through this journey with Him holding me all the way. The children are doing well. I am so thankful for my mother and sister Dana who have taken my children all week and showered them with love and affection. They have answered many questions about Warren's death and Heaven. The teaching they have received from God's Word has been priceless. Please continue to pray for my family and I as we have a journey ahead of us. But I know God is Good and we will continue to give Him honor in this. I truly covet your prayers during this time. Life will never be the same. Pray for us as we begin our "new normal" next week. Oh, if you have a good story of Warren, please post it or e-mail me. We are compiling these for the children. Thank you
wtbroke@juno.com

Warren loved to fish

2008-10-10T21:17:00.000-07:00

Warren Brokering Obituary

2008-10-10T20:02:00.000-07:00

Friends and Family, this is the obituary, which will be in the Terre Haute and Shelbyville, IN newpapers.

---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Warren Brokering, 41, of Terre Haute, Indiana left this earth to meet his heavenly Father on Thursday, October 10th, 2008 at 2:55 pm ET.

He was born, Warren Keith Brokering, on April 13th, 1967 to Nancy Lynn Stout Richards of Shelbyville, Indiana. He spent his formidable years in St. Paul, Indiana attending Hendricks Elementary, Waldron Junior High and Waldron High School where he excelled in wrestling and reached the state finals.

In 1986, God gripped Warrens’ heart and he accepted Jesus Christ as his personal Lord and Savior. Following God’s calling, he enrolled at Maranatha Baptist Bible College in Watertown, WI.

Beginning in 1986, Warren worked his way through college as he studied Youth Ministries. After many long years of sweat, toil and tears, Warren graduated in 1994.

Warren entered the ministry as a Youth Pastor in a small church in Virginia and began influencing many lives for the cause of Christ.

Later in his ministry, God called him to Bible Baptist Church in Terre Haute, Indiana. He faithfully served as a Youth Pastor for 10 years. It was during this time that he contracted lung and liver cancer. As he received chemo treatments and battled cancer he continued to minister to his youth group influencing hundreds of young people to serve Christ.

God then opened a door for Warren to work with other cancer patients at Providence Medical Center in Terre Haute, Indiana. He worked there as Chaplain for 2 years encouraging others in the Lord and leading many to Christ.

Warren was preceded in death by his father, Max Brokering, and leaves behind his wife of 13 years, Tana (Rodabaugh) Brokering and three small children; Madelyn (8), Chloe (6) and Spencer (4).

Also surviving Warren is his mother, Nancy Lynn Stout Richards of Shelbyville, IN; grandmother, Izzetta Brokering of Shelbyville; brothers, Scott Brokering of St Paul, IN. and Darin Brokering of Shelbyville; sister, Melissa (Rosenfeld) DeStain of Shelbyville; aunts, Sharon Broughton of Shelbyville and Janie Newhouse of Indianapolis and multiple nieces and nephews; and lastly, his extended family, in-laws, David and Ann Rodabaugh of Coon Rapids, MN.

In lieu of flowers, contributions may be made in memory of Warren Brokering through 5th/3rd Bank at 2511 Poplar Avenue Terre Haute, IN. Phone number: 812-462-0376. Please request your gift to be placed in the Brokering account ending in 001.

Viewing and Funeral arrangements for Warren

2008-10-10T16:12:00.001-07:00

Friends and Family: The viewing and funeral will be held at DeBaun Funeral Home. The viewing will be held Monday, October 13 from 4-8 pm ET. The funeral will be held on Tuesday, October 14th from 1-3 pm with internment at Roselawn Cemetery right afterwards.

DeBaum Funeral Home:
85 E. Springhill Drive,
Terre Haute, In 47802
(812)-299-5125

Roselawn Cemetery
7500 North Clinton Street
Terre Haute, IN 47805
(812) 466-5221

If you have any questions, please reach out to me at 734-968-5135 as well as brett.a.marker@jpmchase.com

In Christ,

Brett Marker

Finally Home

2008-10-10T12:25:00.000-07:00

Warren Brokering, husband, father, pastor, and friend went home to be with his Lord this afternoon, October 10, 2008, at 2:55 p.m. (ET). He was surrounded by his wife, Tana, his family, and dear friends. He is no longer in pain, and he is now face to face with Christ his Savior. Although his passing is painful, we rejoice with him as he enters a new, eternal life with Jesus Christ.

At this time funeral arrangements are being made, and will be posted as soon as they are finalized. The family is asking that you respect their privacy and refrain from directly calling. Comments on the blog and emails are welcome. Please feel free to call Brett Marker with condolences and requests for information. Brett can be reached on his cell phone at 734-968-5135, and through email at brett.a.marker@jpmchase.com.

Thank you for your love and prayers during this difficult time.

2 Timothy 4:7-8

"I have fought a good fight, I have finished my course, I have kept the faith: Henceforth there is laid up for me a crown of righteousness, which the Lord, the righteous judge, shall give me at that day: and not to me only, but unto all them that love his appearing."

The Last Leg of the Journey

2008-10-09T05:11:00.000-07:00

**EDIT** To friends of the Brokering Family,
An account has been set up for the Brokering Family at 5th 3rd Bank (2511 Poplar Avenue Terre Haute, IN) 812-462-0376.
Any gifts need to be placed in the Brokering account ending in 001

The next few blogs I have dreaded to write. Warren has taken a very bad turn and has deteriorated very quickly. At this point, I might rattle on from lack of sleep and being overwhelmed, but God has seen fit to end the battle of cancer for Warren. It will only be a matter of time. My heart is heavy with grief as I watch him. I know that God is taking him in his arms very soon, but we are not ready to see him go. Please pray for my family and especially my children as this is very difficult for adults to understand, but children... Warren was taken to the hospital on Monday because of severe pain and breathing problems. They put him on a Morphine pump and kept him overnight. Warren was told on Tuesday that his battle with cancer would not continue much longer. We prayed together and cried together and shared our hearts with each other. God gave us a precious time together with Him. By Tuesday night he was struggling with his breath again and having pain. On Wednesday morning he went to the office and they administered a diffent chemo that he could tolerate, but the Oxygen intake would not improve. They ended up taking him by ambulance to the hospital and let us know that it had become so bad that he only had a few hours to days. I watch him breath in and out and am so proud of my husband and this long battle he has fought. He does not communicate much right now and is in and out of sleep. All I have now is the moments that tick by and I cherish each moment his eyes open. I am reminded of God's wonderful goodness. Thank you for your prayers keep them coming. I will update again.

Preparing for round 3

2008-09-30T19:07:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

Thanks for your responses. I read them all and they are so very encouraging. It's like we're surrounded by an army of God's warriors.

I am doing better than last time. My recovery time has been much shorter and I'm able to enjoy nourishment for a longer period of time before I have to go at it again. The only problem is that I keep losing weight for no apparent reason. You may remember me saying in the past blogs that I'm losing weight, but it goes back up and I'm still well above the recommended weight for my size and age. Well, now I'm below that weight and steadily dropping. I can't account for the weight loss. I eat well, snack a lot and keep the calories rolling, but it's to no avail.

This is an important issue because if I get too puny I'll not be able to handle the treatments and it will just be sickness all the time. Pray that I can find a way to gain my weight back and keep it on. I look pretty pathetic with my clothes hanging off me. When I wear my shirt and tie it looks like I'm a little boy dressing up in daddy's clothes. Pretty sad.

A couple of other things to pray about: because of the weight loss I have little strength. It's hard to play with the children. They always want to be lifted, carried. thrown or on the floor wrestling. It's hard to do. The other thing is my breathing. I can't go up our stairs without being ridiculously out of breath and it takes a few minutes to get it back. Well, you can imagine the frustration in all of this so please pray and ask God to restore these things.

Thanks for all of you care and concerns for us. Continue to pray according to what you see on the blog and as the Spirit leads you as well. Some days are harder than others for whatever reason and the Spirit knows this. Thanks again and God bless.

Warren and the fam.

Round 2

2008-09-22T10:52:00.000-07:00

Last week was Warren's 2nd round of this treatment. I was hoping it would be a lot better, but it wasn't. It wasn't as bad in his throat, but the sores are all through his mouth and down the throat once again. He has been down all weekend with pain in his mouth and throat and is not able to keep anything down. He is hungry though, which is a good sign, but eating is very difficult and his body doesn't seem to want to keep it down. The doctor reduced the strength of both chemo's, but the side affects are still very much there. It took almost the entire 2 weeks after treatment before he felt good again and then it started all over again. Life just keeps going on around him here at home, the children are used to it all and that is sometimes sad. I know it is hard for him sometimes to know days go by that he cannot spend much time with the kids. His spirits are good although I know he gets frustrated being cooped up day after day. We just keep in the forefront of our minds that God's purpose is so much greater than this cancer. Psalm 23 has been on my mind alot lately. It is such a simple passage that we learn as children and have at funerals, but there is so much in those small verses and the picture God creates is so beautiful...He leadeth me beside the still waters, He restoreth my soul. What comfort and encouragement!! Our God is good and we have seen his work 1st hand. WOW! Keep us in your prayers!!

Change in Chemo

2008-09-02T19:33:00.000-07:00

Warren had a very rough weekend with sore's all through his mouth and down into his throat. They have given him medication to combat the sore's and blisters, but it takes time. We are thankful that he did run any fever or become so dehydrated that we would have had to take a hospital visit. He has not been able to talk much at all. Dr. Huh has taken him off of the trial medication until his mouth heals. On Friday and today they administered fluids as he was a bit dehydrated. He is not able to eat or drink much because anything placed in his mouth is very painful. He is in and out of sleep most of the time. I know his body needs the rest, but I check on him often to make sure he is OK. Thank you for all your prayers and notes, they are so encouraging and knowing how many are praying is bringing us through many hard days. Thank you so much for keeping us all in your prayers!!

Back to Chemo

2008-08-29T19:13:00.000-07:00

Chemo has started again. The treatments are 72 hours of chemo every 3 weeks. Warren is also taking the new trial chemo which is in pill form. He takes 1 pill a day for 4 weeks and then 2 weeks off. This is the best mixture to have with the trial chemo. This week was his first round and he is exausted. He has been nauseated on and off, and has also had a terrible soar throat. They have given him more medication to combat the throat problems, but that won't take affect for another 24 hours. They also gave him fluids today, because of dehydration. He constantly sleeps and can barely talk. Please be in prayer as one of the nurses told me it could be a very rough weekend. We also found out that the tumor marker went up to 288, but has dropped to 144!! Praise the Lord!! We knew it was climbing, but didn't know how high. It is still high, but we are thankful God gave us a little ray of sunshine and the nurses and Dr. Huh seem encouraged.
After he was released from the hospital and several tests later, we have discovered that Warren's gallbladder is only working about 5%. He also has 4 stones in there as well. The specialist said it is too big of a risk right now to do surgery on the gallbladder and it is better to focus on the tumor. Most of the pain is from the tumor on the liver, so it would not eliviate the pain. The surgery on the gallbladder would be a major surgery and right now that is out of the question unless there would be serious infection. God has taken such good care of us and we have been blessed above what we deserve. School has started and we have sent Spencer to K-4 this year. He and Chloe (1st grade)go to a christian school, and Maddie (3rd grade) is homeschooled. Spencer goes 1/2 day, so it gives Maddie and I all morning to do school. Please continue to pray, we covet them daily!!

Hospital Visit

2008-08-14T20:13:00.000-07:00

Today brought another challenge. Warren's day starting with vomiting. When he called the office to let them know he would not be in today, Dr. Huh said he wanted Warren to go to the ER, because there could be an obstruction. So we drove to the ER (stopping along the way to bond with the side of the road). After an x-ray and fluids, the ER Dr. said the vomiting could be caused from some chemo left in his system or maybe a virus of some sort, but there was NO OBSTRUCTION!!! Praise the Lord!! It is not easy to determine what the vomiting is from because Warren has also received his first IV iron yesterday because his iron is low, that is due to some kidney stone problems he has had for a week or two. He has been off of all chemo until his iron count goes back up and there is some change in the kidney stone issues. So the ER Dr. thought it best to keep him overnight for observation and to make sure he does not continue getting sick through the night. When I left tonight he was doing much better and eating solid food. He was not feeling sick anymore, so that was a wonderful blessing. We are thanking the Lord that this was not a bad situation, but still continue to pray that Warren will be healed!! Thank you for your prayers, on days like this it helps to get you through knowing there are many prayers going out for us!!!!

Need your prayers

2008-07-30T18:45:00.000-07:00

Hey all!

I had some x-rays taken yesterday to see why my breathing is so labored. It came up negative for any breathing problems, but I think it revealed something that rose a red flag in Dr. Huh's mind. I'm not for sure about it because he didn't say anything specific, but he did put a hold on treatments for a month and ordered a CT scan in 3 weeks. Whenever he does things like this I know something may be up so pray that God will reveal to him the problem and the solution.

While I'm on this month break he says he will be monitoring my cancer marker and my pain level. Both have elevated in the past few weeks. This will give him a chance to see if the marker will rise aggressively or not and if my pain will continue to elevate as well. Of course the scan will reveal any of the causes or results of a growing marker and elevation of pain.

So to some up the prayer request remember the rising marker, pain, a bad cough (hurts my liver pain when I cough) and my very labored breathing. Thanks so much for praying. We need it desperately every day.

God bless,
Warren and the fam.

Answers to prayer

2008-07-05T19:48:00.000-07:00

Hey all,

I just wanted to drop a quick note to tell you that I have been approved for funding to recieve the clinical trial medicine. I am eligible for at least 6 months worth of the medicine and maybe another 6 months if needed. I will have a co-pay and I'm not sure how much that will be, but we pray that the Lord will provide. I will also continue to take my Xeloda (a pill form of 5fu chemotherapy) through the trial and I will have a co-pay on that as well. The Lord knows.

This is all the information I have as of now. Dr. Huh has not spoken of the details of this trial as of yet, but I'm sure he will now knowing it's available. I will update the info as soon as I know what we're doing and when. Until then keep us in your prayers and believe that God is able.

God bless,
Warren and fam.

In Limbo

2008-06-12T13:50:00.000-07:00

I wanted to let you all know that I'm now on the full doses of the regimen that Dr. Huh had me on when my marker started to rise. My blood pressure is better allowing me to start up the Avastin again and the funding came through for the Xeloda. So, I'm up and running again with a full regimen of treatments. For a couple of weeks I was only taking one of the 3 components of the regimen. This is good for now.

You may wonder why I'm still on a regimen that allows my marker to go up. Well, I'm
glad you asked. We are sill trying to get funding for the clinical trial medicines. We can't change until the trial is completely set up so we stick with this treatment until we find out if we can do the trial or not. In other words, this regimen is better than no regimen at all while we wait. The prayer request is for God to reveal the next step, whether a trial or already proven and known regimen.

For now you can pray for some struggles that have surfaced since my marker has risen. I have very labored breathing. The simplest task can tax my breathing. Now how am I supposed to keep up with the little boy in this condition? I also have pain in my side (the liver). If I over do it I'll become very uncomfortable and it takes some pain medicine and a lot of rest to get past it. Spencer thinks it's his superior boxing skills that causes the pain. I can't have him growing up believing this. Also, today I stayed home from work because of all of this and then some. I found it hard to keep my food down today. This could be a passing thing for today or something I'll have to deal with in the days to come until we figure out our new course of action. Pray for these things to subside so I can continue to funtion.

Well, I just wanted to update you all on these things so you could be praying for us. We appreciate all that you do for us in you prayer efforts. I'll update you when I know more.

God bless,
Warren and family.

Changing regimens again ... I hope!

2008-06-04T17:14:00.000-07:00

Hey, all! Sorry to not update for so long. There has not been a lot to tell up until now. I saw the Doc on Monday and he told me my marker is rising again. It has gone from 56 to 80. So this regimen he has had me on is failing and we have to move to a new regimen ASAP.

Dr. Huh wants the new regimen to be a clinical trial. The problem with that is the medicine for the trial will cost me out of pocket because it is a pharmacy item. Anytime I get my medicine from the pharmacy I have to treat it as any other item and pay a co-pay amount every time I refill for the next treatment. Unfortunately cancer medicine from the pharmacy costs thousands of dollars and it sends my co-pay into the hundreds of dollars. So, Dr. Huh's staff is trying to find a way to fund the prescriptions for me. This is where the prayer request comes. Pray that we can find funding for my cancer medicine so I can participate in this clininal trial.

I am doing okay. Dr. Huh says that the cancer is still stable even though the marker has gone up again. Currently I'm still on the same regimen until we find out if the clinical trial will work out or not. One of the cancer medicines has caused my blood pressure to rise into dangerous territory so he took that medicine out of the regimen. My chemo pills are on hold until I get cleared for funding for those as well. Maybe God is trying to tell us something about this regimen ... GET OFF OF IT. IT'S NOT WORKING!!!! Of course I could be wrong. I am neither an Oncologist or God so it is hard for me to form an accurate oppinion.

As you can see there are many things to pray about concerning my cancer and treatments. In the mean time I do feel okay and the sickness is not a problem with this regimen so that's a blessing. My biggest problem is fatigue and I did pick up someone's cold over Memorial day weekend. Thanks to whoever you are that shared the germs. May God bless your armpits with the fleas of a thousand camels.

Thanks to all of you who pray so faithfully. You are the difference makers in this battle. God bless you all and I'll keep you posted on the clinical trial medicine.

In His care,
Warren and family.

And so we carry on ...

2008-04-29T20:05:00.000-07:00

An update as promised. I met with Dr. Huh yesterday. My weight is fine, blood counts look good as well as all other vitals. The scan showed no change, which was good news. Anytime I find that the treatments have stopped working I wonder if the cancer has had enough time to grow. This time we cought it in time to keep it from growing and I can actually take a week off before I start the next regimen.

Throughout my 2 years of treatment I have either been on a regimen that stops the cancer from growing or one that shrinks the cancer. Starting Monday (5/5) I will start a regimen that incorporates both concepts. The first treatment will be Erbitux (a target medicine that shrinks the tumors) and Avastin (a target medicine that keeps tumors from growning) and Xeloda (a chemotherapy that aids both). Xeloda is a chemo pill that I administer myself at home. The week after that I will only do the Erbitux and Xeloda and it will rotate like that throughout the regimen. I've never been on this regimen before so I don't know what it will do to me. I've been on each of these medicines at one time or another, but never all at the same time. It will be interesting.

I am back to work now. The MetLife disability insurance informed us (after 7 weeks of paper work and no income) that we don't qualify for the program because I have a pre-existing condition that is more than 3 months old. If it had only been 3 months that my cancer had existed then I could qualify. I guess disability is not necessary if you've been sick for a long time. Only in America! The longer you are sick the less chance you have of getting help. Not only did we get denied disability but my office manager told me that our insurance was going to cancel us affective May 1. The good news is that social security cleared us to start recieving benefits to subsidize our income ... in September. So, when you get sick you risk losing your income without any disability and the insurance wants to cancel you as well and of course the government is always a day late and a dollar short. Well, God is the great equalizer of all that kind of nonsense. Just pray that we can go back to normal insurance coverage without any hassels.

I'm thankful that I do feel well enough to start work again. Dr. Huh is skeptical, but he is willing to let me give it a try. Pray that God gives me the strength to prove him wrong. It has been good to be back at the clinic for more than just my own treatments. I have enjoyed seeing some of the patients again, but I have found that the list of patients is just as new as our new facility. Wow, I have a lot of work to do just to learn all of the new faces. Keep it all in your prayers.

Thanks for all your prayers and support,

Warren and family

Here we go again!

2008-04-22T20:27:00.000-07:00

The last time I blogged I told you about my marker going up and that it could possibly be an indication of the treatments losing their effectiveness. Well, it seems that is what has happened. The doc had one of the nurses call me today to set up a C/T scan for this week. I asked "did doc get a red flag from my tumor marker?" She said "yes it has gone up". It was 42.6 then it went up to 46 and stayed there for a month and then it went to 55. So clearly it has stopped working and we need to scan, see where the cancer is problematic and react accordingly.

I don't feel any pain in my side where the liver is, but I have struggled to breath and my coughing is worse again. I'm guessing the lungs want to take off again, but I can't say for sure. The scan will tell the story. With that in mind remember to be praying for me on Thursday (4/24) at 11:15. I'll be scanned at that time. Monday I'm scheduled to meet with the doc and discuss the results and where we go from here.

I'm begining to get the impression that I'm facing a very stubborn cancer. Has anyone else out there thought the same thing? Am I alone in this theory?

I appreciate all of you who are praying and those of you who are so faithful to share with your church or prayer group and friends the request to pray for me. Remember, scan on Thursday (4/24) at 11:15 and results Monday (4/28) with what we will be doing next. Pray for Dr. Huh to be given the wisdom of God in regard to my treatments. Pray for us as a family. It is hard to get this kind of news and it is even harder to wait for results and consultation.

Thank you all and God bless,
Warren and family

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!

2008-04-13T13:30:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday Warren!!!! I hope you don't mind us cracking into your blog to wish you a very special Birthday! We love you so much. Mom and Dad said, "To our favorite Son-in-Law Alex, Uhhh, We meant, Warren, We Love You!!! Your card and check are in the mail.
YOU ARE THE BEST!!!!!
HAPPY B-DAY UNCLE WARREN!!!
Love you!!
Dad, Mom, Jim, Dana, Tyler, Will, Alex, Jana, and Ella

Keep the prayer wheels turning

2008-04-04T22:22:00.000-07:00

I wanted to update everyone on how things are going. I was trying to hold off until I got the results from this week's blood work. But I can't seem to get the info I need from the lab. The nurses say they are waiting for the info themselves.
Here is what I do know. I have been feeling better. I got to go to the MBBC wrestling reunion in St. Louis a couple of weeks ago. We hooked up with Scott and Michelle Ice and drove over together. We had a great time. It was Easter weekend so we had time with family as well as all of the Easter festivities for the children. I slept much of Saturday and part of Sunday, but I did manage to show up for the highlights. Yes, I am feeling better.
This week I had my treatments again and I seem to be doing well again. I still have a few days before I'm out of the woods with sickness and so on. I have been requesting an extra dose of side affect medicine before they disconnect my I.V. and it has really helped. It mostly helps with the sickness, but does nothing for exhaustion and other discomforts. But it is the sickness that really causes a problem and contributes to something that Doc has been bothered by for the past few weeks.
Doc has been unhappy with my weight loss lately. When I'm sick it contributes to the weight loss. When I lose weight I become puny and less able to tolerate the treatments. So, pray that I can hold my weight and continue on. I still have about 10-15 pounds before it becomes critical. I don't think it will come to that but you never know.
The other thing he is watching is my tumor marker. Up until the last treatment we saw the marker plummet in big numbers each time the marker was tested. As of my treatment 2 weeks ago we saw it rise 3.4 points(from 42.6 to 46). The rise in the marker is not significant and we are thankful for that. However, when it goes from plummeting in big numbers to rising just a little we have to wonder if the treatments are beginning to lose effectiveness and we'll have to start again on something else. Remember, we are on a regimen to shrink the tumors and we want to get the full benefit of as many treatments as possible. I think Doc is hoping to get at least 4 more treatments (8 more weeks) before we move on to something else. So, the prayer is that we keep the tumor marker going down, even if it is in smaller intervals, and let the treatments last for as long as the Doc deems necessary.
If the marker goes up 2 more times he will probably stop the regimen and move on to something else.
So, yes I'm feeling better, but I do have some concerns to deal with. Keep us in your prayers and thanks for all of your support.

God bless,
Warren and company.

God has been good

2008-03-11T17:19:00.000-07:00

Sorry to have kept you all waiting on this news, but I had treatments last week and it has taken a while to shake them off. I did get good news from the doc last week. I was talking with the office manager and doc came and handed me a report from the lab. He had circled the tumor marker most recently taken and it had dropped all the way down to 42.6. That is a little more than half of what it was when we started in January which was 89. So, as miserable as these treatments may be they are working. Continue to pray as these are the same treatments that worked so well last year and suddenly stopped. Before we knew what had happened the cancer had begun to grow again. Please continue to pray.

Another challenge is on the rise besides the cancer. Dr. Huh wanted to give me sick leave and continue to pay me my regular salary. Well the corporate office of our medical group found out and they told him that he couldn't do it that way and that he would have to process me through the corporate disability program. So we are processing all of the paper work for disability. As many of you may know disability only pays 60% of salary and it takes 30 days for it to take affect. So we are facing 30 days of no salary and only 60% of salary when we do get paid. Well, that looks pretty grim at first, but when I look back at how God has provided in the past I knew that He would do no less for us now. I went home and told Tana the deal, she began to worry, but I reminded her of what God has been doing for us for many years now and that we can continue to count on Him today. Well, He has already begun to move and we are assured of His hand of provision in these matters. We don't know how long this will last, but I'm praying for a very short term situation.

Dr. Huh and the office manager told me that they never intended for this to happen and that they feel just terrible about it. This was my opportunity to explain to them about how God has always cared for us and He will do no less through this. As long as we are faithful to do all that is asked and required of us He will do all that is needed to provide. I said "please do not spend time worrying about us. Let's spend our time finding ways to solve the problem and searching for the direction in which God is trying to lead us." That put us all at ease and they were able to see that we trust God in every aspect of our lives. I'm tempted to believe that God is not only showing Himself to us, but also to Dr. Huh and his staff.

We thank you all so much for your love and prayers. It is so good to read your responses on the blog. Keep the prayers coming. As you can see, this situation is bigger than we may ever know on this side of glory. God, I believe, has a plan for many through all of this. It's not just about the Brokerings. The next time you pray for us think of how great the picture may be and know that God is using you and your intercession to accomplish things of spiritually epic proportions. It also helps to think that I could be healed and live happily ever after.

I want to thank Scott and Michelle Ice for traveling over 2 hours to visit and take us to dinner last Saturday. It was so encouraging and we had a wonderful and refreshing time. God bless you for your sacrifice and love for us. We needed it.

Love and thanks,
Warren and family

A mixed basket

2008-02-19T00:26:00.000-08:00

Hey all! I just wanted to update you on the last two treatments/doctor visits. I got my first treatment of this regimen 3 weeks ago. It went well. Normal reactions and I tolerated it as ususal. Two weeks later I showed up for my second treatment and I was denied because my white blood cell count was too low. It should be 3.0 and I was only able to muster up a 2.0. So doc said come back next week and we'll check and maybe your count will go up and we can treat you. I did and the count had only gone up to 2.77. Not quite enough to treat me but we did it anyway. After a short line of questioning he decided that we had no choice. We had to resume treaments or we could be dealing with something worse than a low white blood count.
The questions he asked were: "how's your breathing?" it has become labored again; "how's your pain?" it is coming on again; "are you getting sick with the treatments?: not yet (praise God!): "are you having any other extreme reactions besides the skin?" no (praise God). He said "well, we have not choice. Let's do it" So we did, I feel terrible, but I'll be okay soon.
Pray for the white blood count to rise. It is the backbone of my immune system and if I get sick it could potpone my treatments thus affording the cancer a chance to grow. However, if it doesn't go up I'll have to skip more treatments in the future causing the same scenario just mentioned. Funny how one little glitch can cause so many problems. But God can fix a measley low white blood count. I just need your prayers.
Speaking of prayers, I called the office last week to ask a question. After discussing the situation the nurse said "hey, I have some good news" I said lay it on me sister. She informed me that my tumor marker had gone down from 89 to 55 since the last two treatments. Praise God! It was such good news. I'm sorry to not have informed you earlier. That is why this post is called a mixed basket. There was a little bad news to be concerned about, but also some good news. So we pray with praise on our lips and concern in our hearts.
I want to thank my friends, David P. Martens and Timmy Brahs for coming to visit this past weekend. What an encouragement to know that they would spend the money for the cost of the trip, leave their famiies for a weekend and miss out on some much needed rest only to return to the rigorous grind of their jobs on Monday to come here and lift my spirits. And that they did. I thank God for all of my friends who have stopped in to see me and pray with me. It just means the world to me and my family. When Dave and Tim were preparing to leave Maddie said "daddy, where are they going" I "they have to go home now" she said "but why? Can't they stay here?" They even encouraged my children during their stay here. Thanks guys, we love ya.
I Must rest, I have another treatment tomorrow. Pray for the blood count, pain, and labored breathing. Thank you all for your prayers and reponses. It means the world to us to hear from you and that you are praying.
God bless,
Warren and family

New treatment regimen

2008-01-29T19:50:00.000-08:00

Thank you all for praying so much for us and for responding on our blog to assure us of your doing so. It is always an anxious time as we wait to see what the doc is going to do next. So many unanswered questions, so much wondering how the next regimen will alter our lives and how I will be feeling in the months to come. But now all of the waiting and unanswered questions are over and we now know what we face.
The doc has put together a regimen similar to what I went through last spring but with different ingredients. The chemotherapy is called Irenotecan (eye-rye-no-TEE-can-). The cancer "Targeted" medicine is called Vectibix (vek-te-biks-). It is not chemotherapy it is a medicine that specifically targets cancer cells and KILLS THEM! HA, HA, TAKE THAT YE DOGS OF DISEASE! Sorry, I get excited about killing cancer. It's a strange passion of mine.
There is another agent involved called 5-fu and it is a chemotherapy that blasts cancer cells when combined with another agent (I forget the name ... sorry, I have failed you) and helps the 5-fu to bind itself to the cancer cells. It is not cancer specific in that it kills other normal cells that resemble cancer cells.
Normal body cells such as hair, skin, mouth and stomach cells are like cancer cells in that they are all rapidly dividing cells. The difference is that normal body cells know when to stop dividing and die off and are replaced by other cells waiting to go through the same process.
Cancer cells, however, divide quickly and do not know when to stop and will continue to divide until they have formed a cancer tumor. From there the cells continue to divide and grow the tumor until it is stopped, removed or has taken over a bodily organ completely. Am I boring you yet? You can read and research what these agents will do to the cancer and my body at Chemocare.com.
Here is how it will be administered. I will go in on Tuesdays for about a 4 hour treatment and go home with a chemo pump that will shoot shots of chemo into by body in certain time intervals until I get back to the clinic on Wednesday. They will unhook the pump, give me another treatment, hook me up to the pump again for the evening and unhook me on Thursday which will complete the treatment. I will repeat this treatment every 2 weeks.
Doc said "we're really going to get after this cancer and try to put the hurt on it". I said "does this mean that these treatments are pretty aggressive?" and he said "yes, we have to stay on top of this while the tumors are stable and the marker is rising". I said "well, alright, let's get started". So, as usual we left the examination room with a laugh and "I'm praying for ya, Doc. We're both in God's hands. You are His instrument and I'm His project". He just chuckles and shakes his head ... AND SENDS ME TO THE TREATMENT ROOM!!! So not fair!
Well, that's all for now. Thank you so much for your love, responses (which brighten our days so much) and most of all your prayers that strengthen us for the many battles in the days to come. We are so blessed to have God and His people going before us every day and leveling the battle ground in our favor.
God bless you all,

Warren, Tana, and precious children.

More news from the Doc

2008-01-25T13:39:00.000-08:00

I talked to Dr. Huh again and he is making plans for the new regimen of treatments and this is what we know so far. He wants to start a new series the first full week of February. He doesn't know exactly what the combination of chemotherapy/cancer medicines he will use. He said he is going to review all of the information in my chart and make a decision as to what will be best. Keep him in your prayers and ask God to direct him as he does this.
The next thing is that when the treatments start he wants me to put all of my chaplain responsibilities on hold. He said to stay home and rest until he says he's satisfied with the progress of my treatments. So basically I'm on medical leave until he says otherwise. Can you say "Praise the Lord!?" I did tell him that I have to have something to do or I'll go nuts and Tana won't want to be married to me any more. He said it will be a opportunity to spend more time with the kids. It will help me to have more energy for them instead of coming home from work and being too tired to play. I insisted that he let me do at least some of the menial tasks of a chaplain. He said "maybe, we'll see. Your health needs to be the priority not your job". Can you believe this guy? Well, it's not hard to see that God has blessed in a wonderful way. I really hate my cancer, but I love how God takes care of us and shows His love and power to us through it all. Keep us in your prayers.
In Christ,
Warren and family

Scan Results

2008-01-21T17:49:00.000-08:00

I talked with Dr. Huh today and he told me that my scans had indicated no change. It may sound discouraging, but not so if you consider what kind of treatments I have been on. The treatments for the last 6 months serve the purpose of stopping and stabilizing the growth of the cancer. It has done that so the news is good news. However, there is still the tumor marker to deal with. He said the marker had gone up, but we are unsure how much until the latest blood work comes back. When the results come back he will take into consideration how high or low it is and make a decision then as to what the next treatment will be. I still have one more treatment to go on this last regimen, but the last one I had on the 11th just about put me under. It came on extremely harsh and kept me down for over a week. I'm still feeble from that one. He may just let the last one go and start me later on the new one. He said he hated to see me suffer again like I did on the last one.
So, Doc has some decisions to make and he is very deliberate as he does so. lease pray for him as God leads him to the next phase of my journey. It comes with a double edged sword. On the one side we expect to see some shrikage in the tumors, but on the other we face a whole new set of side affects and life changing adjustments. It's hard on all of us, even the children. So keep us in your prayers as we await the news as to what's next and what it will do for me. Pray for God's hand to be on me and on the family. There is such a battle on every side of our lives. Physical, spiritual, emotional, mental ... you name it we battle it.
Thanks for you love and prayers.

Warren

Scan date moved

2008-01-17T17:11:00.000-08:00

Warren has had a pretty rough week. He has been sick and has not felt well at all. They were doing a scan on the 31st, but today he could not keep food down, so they have moved his scan to tomorrow at 11:45 am. Please pray for a good report, or that if there is another problem that we can take care of it quickly. Thank you for the faithfull prayers.

Time...where does it go?

2008-01-08T19:50:00.000-08:00

It's been a while since our last entry. Warren has had a rough month. He is so tired. They have him on another antibiotic and prednisone as he continues to get sinus infections. The prednisone gives him insomnia, so he can't sleep at night, but then he sleeps off and on through the day. The doctor gave him a month off of chemo. It was much needed, because his body is so tired. A month seemed like such a long time, but here it is already up and Warren starts chemo again on Friday, January 11.

December came and went with so many activities. I love the Christmas season!! All the excitement and crazy schedules (well, I could do without the crazy schedule) anyway, we did have a wonderful Christmas holiday. We went to Minnesota with my family. It is a very busy time, but so nice to get away and have a different schedule. It was hard for Warren at times, because he needed to rest but was afraid he would miss out. Dave Martens came many times to my parents house to hang out with Warren when he had to stop. I really appreciated the time he spent with Warren. I also thank my parents for having all of us to their home and having us come in with all the kids and just invade their quiet space. We had a great time. Now we are back to our home and school and doctor/chemo schedule. As I look back over 2007, I am so thankful for what God has done for us. God is good!! He has provided above and beyond our needs and has supplied many of our wants. I was listening to the radio today and heard a song I'm sure many of you know. It is about Paul asking God to relieve him of his suffering, and God says "My grace is sufficient for thee: for my strength is made perfect in weakness". Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. 2 Cor. 12:9 I have asked God many times to heal my husband, but right now he has chosen to keep us right where we are, but He has promised to give us his grace and he has so many times. For that I am truly thankful everyday as he keeps us going forward and allowing us to share our faith with others. We are also so thankful for the many cards and calls and e-mails, etc. that have been sent through the year. What a blessing to recieve them and they give such strength to us. Please keep us in your prayers through the days and months ahead as we go through this journey. Your prayers are greatly coveted. God is good!!

Dr. Visit update

2007-11-27T19:40:00.000-08:00

I had another visit with the doc today. My tumor marker is steadily on the rise. It had gone all the way down to 31.1. Since then it went up to 34, then 37 and now 39. I asked him if the chemotherapy is starting to level off in its effectiveness and he shook his head yes. It's just like the last regimen I was on. It does a good job for a while and then it begins to fade off. Doc says we'll try to finish this regimen (which goes through January) and get a scan at the end of January.

He is also prescribing some things to get rid of or at least contain the sinus infection. He is also doing some things to help my breathing. It has gotten a bit haggard lately. Is Haggard a real word? Anyway, I feel decent and I still enjoy life. I got to deer hunt with my brothers this year. That was a special blessing as we don't get to do a whole lot together these days. I hope to do it again next year.

Some may ask if I'm worried about the marker rising and the chemotherapy losing its effectiveness. Not really. The marker is considerably low compared to others and as far as the chemo is concerned, well, it's just a form of medical practice. God will decide what will work and what will not. I'm sure He isn't counting on the chemo to heal me so why should I. He has His hand on my body and nothing happens without His doing or consent so pray that He will allow healing. It's hard to know the mind of God on such matters, but it doesn't hurt to share our mind with Him and pray to that end, so please pray.

Thanks to all of you who follow this blog and pray. Remember to pray for us spiritually, emotionally and mentally as well. It is an all around battle. Thanks also for your responses. They are so very encouraging and we look forward to reading them from day to day. Share the blog with others and recruit the prayer warriors. We do so appreciate it.

God bless.

Small Details to pray about

2007-11-11T20:26:00.000-08:00

Hey all,

Just letting you know that I had a treatment a week ago last Friday and every time I have a treatment they take blood and check my counts to see if I'm healthy enough to take the treatment. If the blood counts are low then they have to put the treatment off until they are high enough again. I do have some counts that are beginning to bottom out a little so pray that they will stay high enough to take treatments.

The other reason I tell you this is because they also check my cancer marker as well. The doc says it went up a little when they check it this last treatment. How much I don't' know because I asked him in passing instead of during an appointment when he would usually have my chart in front of him. He said "It went up a little, but it will go back down again". It has come to the point where it will slow down and bounce up and down throughout the rest of the treatments. It's a little nerve racking if I allow myself to focus on the marker, but I don't. However, it is very worthy of our efforts in prayer. That is why I post this information. This is where the battle gets long and gaining ground is slow. So pray for patience or for quicker results.

We do so appreciate all of your prayers and your responses. How encouraging it is to know that God's people have enlisted themselves in helping us fight this fight. Pass on our blog to others and encourage them to pray as well.

God bless

Scan results good

2007-11-01T20:33:00.000-07:00

Hey, all!
Sorry to keep you all waiting for the results of my scan. It has been a crazy week. Dr. Huh says the reports came back good stating that the legions or tumors are stable. So, for now we have stopped the growth of the cancer in the lungs. The liver is still stable as well. Now we have to begin praying that this treatment reinforces that work and continues to shut down the processes the cancer established to be able to grow. Pray that the tumor marker goes down as well. It was last charted at 31.1. The lower it goes the less the cancer can grow. It's complicated to explain, but know that a lowering tumor marker is always good. Ideally we want it to go all the way to zero. That's when you know you're putting the hurt on the cancer. It was at 3.8 before it began to grow again last May so we know it is a possibility.

Dr. Huh also ordered a scan to be done on my head at the last minute to make sure things had not progressed in that direction. They were negative (PTL). On the bad side of things, the doc said that I have developed a sinus infection due to the chemotherapy. Pray that the antibiotics can deal with it before it becomes a sinus surgery situation again. I really hate the whole surgery thing. It seems like a small thing, but my body has no ability to fight this on it's own, so pray that God spares me the misery of a lasting infection and it's draining affects on my body.

I would also ask that you pray for a patient of ours. Her name is Norma and she has fought cancer for many years now and she is slowly fading from this life. I went to see her today in her home and she is in Hospice care just waiting for God to take her home. She is saved and knows heaven to be her final home. She and her family need our prayers.

I know that there are many who are reading this blog and I ask that you pray for us. You must know that this is much more than a physical battle. God desires to use my cancer for His glory, but it won't happen if I can't get up every day with the Hope of my salvation and a readiness to give an account of that to those who need to hear it. It's a spiritual battle and I need your prayers for that as well.

Thank you all for your love and prayers. It truly does make the difference in our lives from one day to the next. God bless you all.

OUR NEW HOME!!

2007-10-24T15:12:00.001-07:00

Scan and x-ray results coming

2007-10-21T20:47:00.000-07:00

To all who are praying I thought that I would give you a heads up on some results we will be waiting to recieve. This Friday (10/26) I will have a scan done from my shoulders to my pelvis and they are looking for any growth or spreading that may have occured since the cancer has grown in my lungs last summer. I like to think that they are looking for any shrinkage that may have taken place since I started this last regimen. I have already had some x-rays done of my chest last Thursday (10/18) to see if there are any fractures in my ribs. Sometimes when cancer has spread to the bone it will compromise the integrity of the bone and cause fractures which in turn cause pain. I've been having that kind of pain, but the doc says that it is probably due to the chemotherapy. The x-rays are more for ruling out the spread instead of confirming it. The results of these tests will come next Tuesday (10/30) and we will post the results asap. Since I work for my doctor I may get them sooner, but I have an official appointment next Tuesday so I expect he'll wait until then.

Other than these things I am doing well. Many of the cancer syptoms have gone away except the labored breathing and lack of energy. The doc changed my meds in an attempt to alleviate my breathing problem and some high blood pressure issues. In doing so I have pain throughout my body because the meds he took away were to help me cope with the pain of chemotherapy. Though my breathing and blood pressure may be getting a little better I now have to tolerate the pain. It's always a trade-off. However, I think it may be easier, at this point, to manage the pain than it is to not be able to breath well. I really hate the whole shortness of breath thing.

I have really enjoyed settling in to my new ministry of being a cancer chaplain for my doctor. It is so neat to be able to freely spread seeds of the gospel on the hearts of the patients from day to day. I love the people I work with. They care for me daily it seems and I'm fortunate to be under their constant care. They care for me because they care. It's nice. I love them and pray for them often. Dr. Huh is a great doctor and his care for the patients is rivaled by no one in the immediate area. He truly cares for them. I pray for him as he carries an enormous weight on his shoulders of trying to heal people of a killing disease. Some of those patients are not going to be healed and it falls to him to inform them of their fate. I see him struggle with this from time to time and I pray for him. Many patients have told me of the compassion he has shown them and how he has even shed tears with them when the news isn't good. Enough cannot be said of Dr. Huh and his staff.

We are settling into our new home now (sorry no pics yet) and we are so very thankful to God for everything He has done to bring this about. We were surrounded from day one by about 12-15 people who helped us clean, paint, move and settle in. If I start thanking people I will miss someone. It's almost as if God said to these people " Here are the Brokering's, I'm entrusting them into your care. Do for them what is necessary to move and I will watch and reward accordingly" and they heard Him say this and obeyed immediately. I assure you, they will be abundantly rewarded. God bless you all.

In closing I would ask you to pray for some faithful prayer warriors who have been praying for me. Mrs. Brahs and Mr. Owatta. They both have been such encouragements to me, but unfortunately they have been afflicted with the same thing that I have, colorectal /colon cancer. As you pray for me include them as well. Their faithful prayers have meant so much to me and I would imagine our prayers would mean as much to them. Share this blog with others that they may pray as well.

Thanks and God bless you all for you love and prayers

Grandpa went to be with the Lord

2007-10-03T10:40:00.000-07:00

Thanks to all of you who have been praying for our grandpa with small cell cancer. He passed peacefully this morning (10-3-07) in his home at 10:17a.m.

The funeral is tentatively Friday. Pray for hearts to be touched. You never know how his passing may provide an opportunity for others to think of their own mortality and eternal destination.

Pray also for grandma and their children as they were all with him when he drew his last breath. The impact of that is a little more reality than anyone would want to deal with.

Blessings to share

2007-09-26T19:08:00.000-07:00

Hey, All!
Just wanted to update you on some things that are happening in the Brokering family. We have sold our home and bought a different one. We are in the process of moving and everyone is exhausted. We closed on the new home last Thursday and we had planned to get in that night to clean and unload at least one trailer full of packed boxes. When we got there we were met by about 12 or 15 people that had set aside their evening to help us get started right away. They all had their cleaning buckets, painting equipment and trucks to help get even more stuff moved than we had planned. This has continued for the past 7 days and all of the cleaning and painting is done and we have moved several loads of boxes in and unpacked them. They have also taken care of many minor repairs and made some changes that the lady of the house needed to have taken care of. UNBELIEVABLE! What they have done for us in the past few days would have taken us weeks or months. Thank the Lord for sending them to us to help when I'm down and unable to function.

I heard from the doc today and he tells me that my tumor marker has dropped 21 points from 55 to 34 since I started my new chemo on August 10th. This is a blessing. I have had 4 of the 12 treatments that he has prescribed for me. After my 6th treatment he plans to do a CT scan to check the progress of the treatments. The 6th treatment will be on October 19 and he will scan sometime after that. It's hard to tell exactly on what date the scan will be done. Things can change his mind depending on how well the treatments & tumor marker are doing.

I have overcome all of the symptoms of the growing cancer in my lungs except the shortness of breath. I can't climb a flight of stairs without breathing heavily and feeling a heaviness in my lungs and chest. The best that I can describe it is that it feels like someone is pushing on my chest while I'm trying to catch my breath. Other than that I have no pain, my appetite is back, I've gained 4 or 5 pounds back and the exhaustion is now caused by the chemo and not the cancer.

I tolerated the treatment last Friday much better than I did the last one. I will be doing much better when the move is over and there is a peaceful place to rest. The move is a big job, but with so many helpers my participation has been minimal. I get in trouble every time I try to contribute in the smallest ways. I'm learning the meaning of this verse: 2Co 12:10 Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in necessities, in persecutions, in distresses for Christ's sake: for when I am weak, then am I strong. I've never gotten so much done as I have since I've had cancer. The weakest time of my life is filled with the ability to accomplish much. God just continually shows Himself strong in the midst of my weakness. AMAZING GRACE!

Thank you for all of your prayers and comments. You may never know on this side of glory how encouraging it is to know that you are praying and to hear from you regularly. Thanks.

I will be posting news on my progress as it comes, but until then pray, pray, pray.

God bless,
The Brokerings

Pray for my grandfather

2007-09-08T20:11:00.000-07:00

Thanks for the prayers. I'm doing a bit better than last night, but have a way to go before I'm fit to funtion in society. Pray for my breathing. I get winded very easily and it causes heaviness in my chest. Takes a few minutes to shake it off. No word yet from the doc as to how the treatments are doing. I do feel better in terms of cancer symtoms except for the breating.

I hate to add to your prayer list, but I recently learned that my grandfather has small cell cancer on his lungs. It is a ridiculously fast growing cancer and the mass in the middle of his chest is pretty big. He is 85 and we all wonder how strong he is to fight this disease. The doc says that he may have between 9 to 12 months with chemotherapy.

He has had cancer in his lungs before years ago and they removed the lobe that it was in and he has lived a very good life since. This is a different strand of cancer and the treatments are harsh so I'm heavy hearted for him knowing what lies ahead for him in treatments alone. Pray for him. His name is Clarence Cox. Grandma's name is Norma.

Thanks again for your love and prayers. God truly loves us through His people.

God Bless,
Warren

And Life just keeps moving...

2007-09-07T15:28:00.000-07:00

Warren had another treatment today and it has really hit him hard. He was home only about an hour when everything went downhill. This has been the hardest of this treatment. He is closed off in our room and every so often one of the kids sneeks in to pat him on the head and give love. :) It is hard to keep everyone somewhat quiet when he is so sick, but we will be moving soon and will have much more room to release some of that afterschool energy. I am homeschooling Maddie this year (she is in 2nd grade) and Chloe is in the Christian school in kindergarten. We wil be excited to move to our other house soon as there will be a room for school. There is always a bittersweet spirit when school starts. I like having them all home, but I also like the schedule. Please keep Warren in your prayers over the next few days for relief from the side affects. We thank you for your prayers and responces it is so uplifting and ecncouraging.

FLORIDA

2007-08-24T18:36:00.001-07:00

Treatment update

2007-08-23T19:41:00.000-07:00

I just wanted to update you all on my treatments. I've had one and by tomorrow I will have had another. I'm back to having numb feet and fingers and an acute sensitivity to touching cold things and drinking cold beverages. But that's okay. It certainly beats the alternative that I was headed toward about a week ago.

So far the pain has gone away, my appetite is back and I've gained a couple of pounds. I'm still working on my labored breathing, lack of energy and being so tired, but all in good time. At least now I'm feeling better and there is no pain. It's a blessing to be able to see my doctor every day and have him check my progress.

Tana and I want to thank all of you who have responded by way of blog, e-mail and cards in the mail. It has been such an encouragement and it means so much to know that there are so many people praying for us. We pray that you will all continue to intercede on our behalf and help us work through this trial. Pray for me tomorrow 8/24 and on every other Friday after that (2 Fridays/month with a week off in between). Those are my treatment days and I feel especially yucky on those days. Thanks again for your prayers. We'll update again soon when we find out more.

God Bless,
Warren and Tana

Scan results not good

2007-08-08T20:40:00.000-07:00

As you may know, we had the CT scan done earlier than expected because the doc saw some symptoms that he didn't like. Well, thank God he felt led to do so because he found some bad news that needs addressed ASAP.

Today the doc told me that the scan revealed that the cancer in the lungs has begun to grow again. It has become very active and that is why my chest has felt so heavy, my breathing is labored, appetite has dwindled and I'm so very tired. He also told me that my cancer marker has gone from 3.8 to 55. That is only 1 point away from being triple the amount last year when we started therapy.The pain has subsided and has become less of a factor. The tumors on the liver seem to have remained stable and that is a praise.

The plan is to return to the medicines and chemotherapy that he used last year to stop the spread of the cancer. It was very effective last time and we hope that it will be again. The regimens are different, but the medicines are the same. Instead of having the chemotherapy for 3 days and going home on a chemotherapy pump I will be treated every Friday with no pump (praise the Lord) and will also remain on the chemotherapy pills that I have been on for the last 6 weeks. If you have any questions about this please feel free to contact us. We want you to know how to pray, so please, ask away. E-mail us at wtbroke@juno.com and we can go from there.

Please be in prayer for us. I've been begging God to stir the hearts of the saints to be in intercessory prayer for us. We of course want healing, but we also need grace hourly and we want to be sure that those around us see Christ in us. Sometimes it just sounds like the right thing to say and the proper attitude to have, but I have learned that If Christ is not seen in us and glorified then both me and my family have suffered in vain. I do not want to come to the end of this battle and, win or lose, find that I have absolutely nothing to show for it in eternity. God help us!

Tomorrow I'm going to wake up, put my feet on the floor, thank God for the day and then get busy living it to the praise of His glory. Help us and love us through your prayers.

God bless you all!

Scan date moved

2007-08-01T08:40:00.000-07:00

I have been experiencing some heaviness in my chest area. It has been there for a few weeks but I thought nothing of it. I thought maybe it was allergies or something. When doc Huh found out about it he rushed the scan to tomorrow 8/2/07 at 1:00p.m.
A couple of things could be happening: blood clots in the lungs due to treatments or progression of the cancer. On the other hand it could be nothing. He is just making sure. Be in earnest prayer through the night. I'll post the results as soon as he is able to give tell me.
Thanks for all of your prayers and responses.

Dr. visit results,

2007-07-20T10:43:00.000-07:00

Hey all!
Tana and I saw the doc Wednesday. It was a good visit. He checked my liver and thought it felt okay, my breathing is getting better and he gave me some drugs to manage the pain. So things are getting better as far as the symptoms are concerned.
I am scheduled to have a CT scan on August 10th and another office visit on August 15th. He is going to scan more of my body than he did last time. He didn't really say why, but I would guess that he is making sure that nothing has popped up somewhere else since the cancer has reactivated.
He also wants to continue on with the Chemotherapy pills for a couple more months just to give them a chance to work. He gave no indication as to where my cancer marker is right now, which is fine with me. It doesn't really matter if it is high (which is bad) or low. There is nothing I can do to change it by worrying about it, so if I don't know then I won't worry. The cancer marker fluctuates up and down so much that it can become an emotional roller coaster. Tana and I are learning to ignore those types of things until they become serious and have to be addressed.
So pray for the upcoming scan and visit. Thanks for all of your prayers. Thanks for responding on the blog. It is very encouraging to hear from you all.
God bless,
The Brokerings

2007-07-11T10:57:00.001-07:00

Thanks to all of you who have responded and are praying. An update on the new chemotherapy. It has been 12 days on the new pill chemotherapy and it has been a very mild reaction so far. They say that some reactions won't come until later, but for now all is well. Nothing like the other kind of chemotherapy that goes through the port. So far so good.
Pray that the symptoms of the cancer will begin to subside soon. Pain and shortness of breath are the worst. It slows me down a bit.
To my anonymous responder, "I want to be an Airborne Ranger".
Have a nice day and say "NO!" to drugs.

2007-06-28T12:26:00.000-07:00

An update as promised. We got the results of the CT scan and it was a mixed bag. The doctor tells us that there is no change in the cancer since last year. The good news is that it still has not spread any further or grown any larger either. We can thank the Lord for holding the cancer in check and giving me a quality of life this past year.
I will be starting a new chemotherapy this weekend to attack the cancer in a different way. It will be in form of a pill this time and I will take it 2 times/day for 2 weeks and then be off a week and then back on for 2. It will rotate like that until something happens. There are not as many side affects to deal with but the ones that do come are difficult to overcome if we don't stay on top of them. Pray that we can stay on top of them.
In case some of you don't know the details of the cancer I'll fill you in and you will know how to pray. I have colon cancer that has spread to the liver and lungs. The primary tumor in the colon (the tumor from which it all has spread from) has been removed and they are trying to kill the rest with chemotherapy. The liver has some small tumors on one lobe and a huge one on the other. It is the size of a 3x5 card and it is a very formidable tumor to fight against. As far as the lungs are concerned they have spots across the plains of both and as the CT scan states "there are too many to count". With this information you can see that this battle is in the Lord's hands so we ask that you pray earnestly with us that God would do what man cannot and touch me with His healing power.
I want to thank all of you who leave messages to encourage us. It really does mean the world to us to know that there are people out there who are concerned and praying on our behalf. It makes us feel as if we are not alone in this world as we take on this new assignment from the Lord. We are also powerfully impacted by your prayers from one day to the next. Thanks for praying. Keep it up and we'll fight this battle together and praise God for the victory when it's over. God bless you all!

Prayer Request

2007-06-18T16:47:00.000-07:00

News that the cancer marker has began to rise again. This last regimen took the marker from 13 all the way down to 3.8. Last week the doctor told us that the treatments have lost effectiveness and the marker has began to climb again and as of last week it had gone back up to 9.3.
We have a CT scan Wednesday 6/20 and next week 6/27 we will get the results and go from there. Please pray that these recent treatments did a lot of damage to the tumors on the liver before it lost its effectiveness.
We have been praying that God would stir the hearts of the saints to be praying earnestly concerning our healing. We pray that God would do something so unusual that the doctor wouldn't be able to medically explain such positive results.
Thank you all for your prayers and encouragement. God bless.

Hello!

2007-06-14T20:02:00.002-07:00

Hello Everyone! We have had many people asking how Warren is doing and we thought this would be the best way to keep people updated. Please keep us in your prayers and we look forward to hearing from you!